Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Superficiality & Plastic Surgery

Alas! It was our long overdue session with another member of the blackhead gang. She would be proudly known as ZIT(HAHAHA!)

I JUST HADDD TO ILLUSTRATE HER. So we were just having this random conversation about...

s u p e r f i c i a l i t y.

Zit, being a teacher, admitted that it is indeed inevitable/natural/normal for teachers to treat their good-looking students better! That's seriously damn sad, no wonder teachers used to hate me so much during my school days :(((((

Well, kudos to Zit for being so honest and readily admiting her biased tendencies hur.


Anyway let's talk about the benefits and clauses of good looks shall we!!

Benefit #1: To postpone deadlines

Example: Holly from S Factor
How she kept reiterating about the fact that she can easily postpone deadlines with the supposed "Professor Cheung".

Clause: What if the professor's direct boss is a female, and at the end of it all you still get the demerit for the late submission?

Benefit #2: To escape debts(loansharks) and medical bills
Imagine if showing one side of your boob would allow for a discount of 1k off your exorbitant medical bills!

Note: Don't bother about phone bills, they hear you more often than they see you.

Clause: What happens if you've shown every single inch of your body and maximised the total number of discounts possibly attained?

Would you start peeling off parts of your skin


or rendering extra services when you're at your wits end?
*shudders*

Benefit #3: Get jobs, even in the midst of an economic downturn/recession.
Perhaps that's why some companies would even insist on you attaching a RECENT photo of you during the submission of your resume/CV. Clause: You can always photoshop your photos to make yourself look like a diva.
But why would you wanna raise their hopes just to let it crash when the interview day comes?

Benefit #4: You can get free drinks at clubs!
Perhaps you could be so boomingly popular, that you can bring a bucket and collect tequila shots to lelong outside. HAHA Clause: You'll bloat up like a water balloon if you accept every drink offer.
You might get caught for illegal reselling!

Benefit #5: You can get free food, additional ho liao(good stuffs) when you're out.

Clause: Watch your weight!

Don't end up like him!

So what's your take?
Afterall superficiality seems to be so important to so many civilians and especially the celebrities, that they would risk being put under the knife just to have a sharper nose or a double eyelid or botox injections for a fuller lip even!

I don't think it's wrong to resort to plastic surgery, afterall it's just like applying make-up to enhance your looks, except that plastic surgery is the permanent sort.



But if you are thinking of resorting to plastic surgery...
I would strongly urge you to RECONSIDER.


Need some discouragement?

Here are the Top 10 Celebrity Plastic Surgery Disasters:

1) Michael Jackson


Need I even elaborate?

51 this year, he is one of the most accomplished artiste in the world of music.
He's definitely the most famous for his plastic surgery stints; rumoured to have more than 10 nose surgeries done in his life.

He used to look..

so normal!

PS: Have you heard of the joke before?

What is black when young, and white after it grows up?
('IT' xia, I swear this is the version I heard)

Go figure!

2) Hang Mioku

A 48 year old from South Korea, she was apparently so addicted to plastic surgery that she even injected cooking oil into her face! One of the many surgeons she visited even concluded that she could be suffering from some kind of a psychological disorder/obsession.

Before:



She lookED quite good right?!

After:

People who knew about her showed sympathy and there were donations collected to help her. During the first treatment procedure, 60g and 200g of foreign substance were removed from her face and neck respectively. Yet to no avail, her face was still left scarred and disfigured, just not as bloated.
Source

3) Jocelyn Wildenstein
69 this year, she is known as "The Bride of Wildenstein" - a close reference to "The Bride of Frankenstein".

Seriously damn sad case, she was a beautiful lady in her early 20s. Till she found her rich art dealer husband in bed with a Russian model, instead of leaving him, she turned to plastic surgery to make herself more beautiful to keep his heart with her. Well, he still left anyway.

In my opinion?
The husband should seriously burn in hell.
At least she still has one guy in her life...

her plastic surgeon!


OH WAIT IT'S MORE THAN ONE! -.-


4) Pete Burns

You know the song "Right Round" sung by Flo-Rida featuring Kesha?

Well, the chorus of that hit song was based on another song "You Spin me Round(Like a Record)" by a British Band who called themselves Dead or Alive, which consists of 6 members. Pete Burns, 50 this year, was the frontman as well as vocalist and chief songwriter.





Watch it Watch it!!

For the record, he has had extensive polyacrylamide lip injections, cheek implants and several nose re-shapings jobs. Pete also admitted that he had allegedly spent almost all of his life savings on eighteen months of reconstructive surgery after a procedure on his lips went horribly wrong...
which I think it's pretty obvious.

Oh and as gay as he looks, he's bisexual! Marriage with his ex wife lasted for more than 25 years, now he's married to a guy!



5) Dennis Avner

51 this year, he is widely known as the "Catman". Why that name you may ask?

Because this dude did several surgeries to make himself resemble..
a tiger.

Examples of Modifications:

1. Bifurcation (splitting) of his upper lip
2. Surgical pointing of the ears
3. Sillicone cheek and forehead implants
4. Tooth filing to have a more feline appearance
5. Hairline modification
6. Tattoos and facial piercing - to which whiskers can be attached.




Not only does he LOOK like a tiger, he even lives like one!

Quoted from the Article:

How do real-life Cat Men find Cat Women?
It's difficult - but not impossible: 'I'm seeing a couple of women at the moment,' says Cat. 'They understand that being a tiger is more important to me than humanity, which is difficult for many women to cope with.'

The human 'tiger' who enjoys climbing trees and eats raw meat every day



Just a little point to think about, if he eats raw meat everyday.

What if,
just what if...

he decides to give his "Cat woman" a love BITE?

Won't that be fatal?
He can just shirk the responsibility of murder to his following of the Native tradition, no?

6) Scott 'Carrot Top' Thompson

A comedian, 44, better known by his stage name of Carrot Top and is famous for his hair and particular brand of prop comedy.Also, probably plastic surgery as well!



Watch his performance!

7) Donatella Versace

As established as her family business is, Donatella, 54 this year, is probably AS established in the fields of plastic surgery. She has gone through some drastic changes no thanks to plastic surgery, turning herself into what they term as a caricature.

Caricature - either a portrait that exaggerates or distorts the essence of a person or thing to create an easily identifiable visual likeness, or in literature, a description of a person using exaggeration of some characteristics and oversimplification of others
Credits to Wiki




Donatella has a nose that has grown significantly larger, flatter, wider and even slightly crooked over the years. It is apparent that at LEAST one bad nose job was done. Also, she has huge gigantic lips, the overdose of collagen is very obviously shown. Her tight face is a strong contrast to the loose skin on the rest of her body. Her unintended and unexpected weight loss further revealed the fact that she had boob implants as well.

The irony of being too rich, you might say.

7) Jacqueline Stallone

Familiar second name ya?
Well, she is indeed the mother of the famous action star, Sylvester Stallone. Sly is an American actor/director/producer and screenwriter, famous for the all time Rambo movie, he is the epitome of machismo and heroism in Hollywood.

Just imagine, while he was slogging his guts out in the 90s, his mum probably took most of his pay to put herself under the knife.

"Ahhhhh! I'm going tooo kewwwl youuuuuuu!!
(cos my mum needs a face lift!)"
TSK

He looks bloated too right, kinda like a wax figure. They admitted to sharing the same plastic surgeon! Double TSK.

9) A-manda Lepore (born Armand Lepore)

At the age of 42, she is prestigiously known as the World's Most Famous Transexual, famous for her modelling, fashion, business and partying skills even! She has been the advertising face for M.A.C. (cosmetics), Swatch and more.



Watch this Teaser!

She had her first surgery done at the mere age of 15, which includes getting a sex change in his/her(?!) last year of high school, and of course, many many more countless surgeries after that. Lepore resides in New York City and works as a nightlife hostess at many of the city's popular parties and clubs.

10) Michaela Romanini

An Italian socialite at the age of 40 this year, is famous for her collagen abuse(it's obvious enough)! Can't seem to find any pictures of her before her plastic surgeries though :(

--------------------------------------

Or have you heard of local plastic Dawn yang?
I mean won't you agree that she came out loooking alittle freaky looking?
She used to look okay without the surgery, why would she wanna ruin herself with all the drama seriously. Since she has already gone for the surgery(ies) and such, she should have just been humble and contented and not make up identities, or plagiarise stuffs or worse still fake identities to sing praises of herself?

All this only to get her ass burned when every truth just unfolds in front of everyone's eyes.
One thing I don't understand, she went through all the surgeries to make herself look 'prettier' yet she doesn't even bother to SHAVE HER ARMPIT! -.-

Bravo to Xiaxue

Don't you see a similiarity between her and Michael Jackson?

All super pale-sheet-white, post plastic surgery patients all gotta put extra powder/foundation/or even PAINT huh? It is so scary that somehow I'm wondering if they do glow in the dark when they go to dark alleys/places/clubs.


Save money on electricity,
get a glow-in-the-dark wife/husband/spouse!!!
=D


PS: I came across this, I just HAD to post this picture!